You ARE strong enough!
Sleep.
Man, you don’t truly appreciate it until it becomes elusive.
I look back on the days when I could sleep through anything, when I could wake up and go right back to sleep, when I didn’t have such a complicated relationship with my bed and I think, “Why, oh why can’t it be that way now?”
If you know much about me, you probably know I have some issues with my sleep. I’m not going to call myself an insomniac. I’m going to call myself a recovering insomniac, because I haven’t given up the hope of being a good sleeper again. I’m having absolute faith that it. will. happen.
If you’ve ever had a period of time for more than a couple of weeks where your sleep was continually disturbed and, therefore, shortened, you know how being that kind of tired affects everything. And I mean E-VER-Y-THING. My situation has gotten progressively worse over the last six years or so, but even so, it’s only gotten truly what I’d call severe a handful of times. Unfortunately, a couple of those times have been in 2018. That’s what prompted me to head to a sleep specialist.
The first thing he suggested was sleep restriction. Sleep restriction? Wait, WHAT?
Dude, some nights I only get like 2-3 hours and you want me to restrict the nights that I CAN sleep?
After I talked myself down from throat punching him and throwing him out the window, I did some research and, as counterintuitive as it seems, it’s actually a pretty reliable solution. So, being desperate, I jumped right in, and y’all, I’m doing it! It’s not easy, but I’m doing it.
As you can probably imagine, I’ve had quite a few rough nights over the last couple of weeks. Night before last was particularly…grrrrrrrrr, and I only slept a couple of hours. On that night, for whatever reason, I had a little meltdown. Maybe too tired. Maybe discouraged. Maybe feeling hopeless. Maybe just…I don’t know, something, but y’all, I was at my wits’ end. I legit had a fit. That crying jag was pretty epic, if I do say so myself.
I prayed and begged God to help me sleep, yet I didn’t. I’m not crazy enough to think for a second I know His ways. They’re MUCH higher than my ways. LOL Much. I don’t even pretend to know what God’s doing about 2/3 of the time. But here’s the thing, while I prayed and He didn’t answer my prayer the way I wanted, He gave me everything I needed to get through it. And that brings me to the point of this post.
YOU. ARE. STRONG. ENOUGH.
God promises that He will never give us more than we can handle. In whatever area of life that is. He promises to give us grace and strength and ability for every single thing that comes our way. Even when, by all rights, we should be unable to even function. And yet we do. We make it.
For me, on just a couple hours of sleep, and after having traveled and been away from home for a few days, I was absolutely certain I’d be exhausted. Been there, done that. Not a fun thing. And that’s what was playing through my head for the first few minutes after realizing I was done for the night. I could’ve gone along with that. I mean, it makes perfect sense. The human body doesn’t function well without sleep, and a female with hormones in a state of flux…well, that’s just a recipe for disaster. So I could’ve just accepted the tired, but you know what? I did some praying and I decided I’d much rather accept that God would get me through the day not dragging along, but sailing along. It felt almost as impossible as it probably sounds to you, but you know what? I SAILED. I figured I’d cry and get mad and want to give up on life at least twenty times (that’s what it feels like to be so, so, so tired and unable to sleep), but none of that happened. God gave me everything I needed to make it. AND I DID!
And you can, too!
YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH.
There is no comma. There is no “but.” There is no “if.” There is a period because it is a definitive statement, a declaration. Because you know what? You ARE strong enough. For whatever. Whatever, whenever, however, you are strong enough to do and be and win. Whatever storm your journey in life brings you to, you are strong enough to go through it, to weather it. I fully, one thousand percent believe (and have experienced many times) that God will not send you into a storm to drown. You might sputter and struggle and THINK or FEEL like you’re drowning, but I assure you, even if your head bobs under the water for a few seconds here and there, you won’t drown. You will make it! You will make it when you feel like you can’t, when you’re sure you won’t. You will. And KNOWING that you will win, believing it, trusting it, is half the battle. Whether you feel it within your emotions or not, believe it anyway. Believe it with your head until your heart catches up. Stretch out your faith until you feel strong enough to stretch out your arms. Remind yourself that this too shall pass. Remind yourself that you were built for just such a time as this. Remind yourself that you CAN and you WILL overcome. Write it on your mirror, put a note in your pocket, make it a mantra to say quietly throughout the day (although screaming it occasionally feels amazing, too!)—do what you have to do to keep your thoughts in line with where you want to go. Because, as I’m learning more every day, your life will go in the direction of your thoughts. If you think defeat, if you dwell on how hard it is, if you give too much headspace to the negative, you may give up. You may quit. You may let the challenge overwhelm you. But that will be your choice, not your destiny. Your destiny is greater than you could possibly understand. You are destined to win, to overcome, to conquer. You were made to go through a storm and come out on the other side as a light, a light to others who are still battling, who are still trying to keep their head above the raging waves of their circumstance. We know because we’ve been there. When we aren’t going through storm, we’ve just gotten out of one, and when we emerge, we bring with us all kinds of encouragement and strength and wisdom that can help those who are running short on all three. We shine so they can see a glimmer of hope in the darkness. We shine so they don’t give up inside their storm.
So for any of you who feel like what you’re going through is going to get the best of you, for those who feel like you just aren’t going to make it, LIFT YOUR HEAD! Take one more breath, one more step, one more punch. Kick your legs one more time.You’re gonna make it!
