Your purpose in life is to...find your purpose?

Recently, I stumbled upon this saying, something supposedly said by Buddha.  There are 3 notable things about this saying as it pertains to this post.  1.  I’m not Buddhist  LOL  2.  The saying is not from Buddha  (you mean everything on the internet isn’t true?????)   3.  It started me thinking about what kind of inspiration, if any, people are drawing from this “quote” that’s causing them to share it so much.  Of course, I have no way of knowing what it inspired in others, but I’m here today to talk about where the fake saying took ME.

I DO think every person is born with a purpose.  I’m Christian, so I believe it’s a God-given purpose, and I think we are most definitely supposed to not only discover that purpose, but fulfill it.  Hopefully it won’t take our whole life, though. LOL  Hopefully, we will find it early enough that we can spend many years working out our calling, living out our purpose. I think fulfilling one’s purpose brings a kind of contentment that few other things in life can provide. It’s a sort of sweet spot, and if you’ve been there before, you know how badly you want to get back to it and basically LIVE there:)

During the last couple of years, I’ve spent a lot–like A LOTTTTTT– of time wondering about my purpose, wondering if it’s one specific thing or if it can be more than one, and wondering if it changes as we grow and age and mature.  To this day, I don’t have answers to any of those ponderings, but I THINK I know of at least two purposes for my life.  One is to feed the hungry. That’s a burden I’ve felt for quite some time, and I’m already on that road, hoping to do more and more as time goes on.  But it’s the second calling that’s a little harder to work out. It’s something I’ve been wrestling with since my father died in December of 2015.

My dad was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known.  He was brilliant, funny, kind, strong, dedicated, and he left a profound mark on those who knew him.  At his funeral, many stood up and told of the ways he’d touched their lives, things even we (his family) didn’t know about.  He never told us. He just went about his life doing good.  What a role model!

Well, when he passed away, I began to struggle with my writing. I wanted to write things that matter to…someone, things that would leave a good mark on others.  A few months after he went to be with Jesus, I wrote The Empty Jar, my favorite and most meaningful book to date, and the one I’m most proud of.  Why is it my favorite?  Why am I most proud of it? Because it mattered to me and it mattered to others.  It wasn’t a big seller for me, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to share something of ME that touched someone else.  And if it touched only one single reader…well, then it would be worth it, more worth it than that all the dollars in the world.  I was SO FULFILLED after writing and releasing that book!  

 

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Fast forward to now. It’s almost a year later (I published TEJ on May 6, 2016) and I’ve written several books (only two of which I’ve published, one of those being a novella), yet I haven’t felt fulfilled since I finished The Empty Jar.  It’s like my soul longs to tell a different kind of story, stories that are far deeper than romance, stories that are about REAL love and REAL sacrifice and the REAL strength of the human spirit.  I’ve tried to settle back into my old routine, but I just can’t do it.  It’s like my chair holds the imprint of a person I no longer am, like I don’t fit in it quite the same way anymore.  I’m meant for something else. I just don’t know exactly what yet.  And, yes! In case you’re wondering, it’s so frustrating!  

 

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So what’s my point with this rambling post?  

I don’t know. LOL  

I just wanted to tell y’all, my amazing and wonderful and loyal readers, what I’m struggling with so you’d know why I’m not shouting about a new release or revealing a yummy cover. I’m not dead or becoming a vampire or flying to the moon.  I’m just…waiting.  I know many of y’all are, too.  Waiting ON ME!  And I’m so sorry I don’t have something for you–a book, a date, anything at all that’s concrete.  Why?  Because, honestly, I don’t know what’s down the road for me, what my next story will be or when it will come.  I don’t know much right now.  I only know that I’m supposed to wait. I’ve been praying so, so hard about it and I keep getting that same answer/non-answer–WAIT.  I don’t know what I’m waiting for–a story line, a new direction, a bolt of lightning.  I only know that He’s telling me to wait, so I’m waiting.  I’m trying to do it with grace and patience, but lemme tell ya, as the world’s most impatient person, this is particularly hard for me. hehe  But I’m doing it!  

I.

AM.

DOING IT!

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(Let’s take a moment here to enjoy the gorgeousness of that ^^^^^^)  *swoon*

I truly believe that one day soon, I’ll be back on here to tell you about an amazing new story I’m working on, and I truly believe it will be part of my purpose, and that I will feel fulfilled again. I have faith that I will write what springs from my heart, and that it will reach out and touch someone else’s.  I believe THAT is my purpose–to write things that move and inspire and heal. It makes me so happy to even THINK of it!  But I’m not there yet, so until that moment comes, I’ll be over here, rocking in the corner.  

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Just kidding:)  hehe  I’ll be smiling and laughing and living each day with gratitude and hope, because THAT is how we wait!

For those who want to know what happens next, I’ll post an update when I have one. Fingers crossed it won’t be long!

And for those who don’t…

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hehehe  Kidding:)

Have an amazing day, and if you have a story to share about finding YOUR purpose, slap that baby on here! I’d love to hear about it, and, chances are, someone else will, too:)

All my love, 

M

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p.s.  If you haven’t read The Empty Jar, but wanna, here are the links to it:

Amazon: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarAMZ

B&N: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarBN

iBooks: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarIB

Kobo: http://smarturl.it/TheEmptyJarKobo

  • Love your heart, Michelle. I am a firm believer in writing things that can both impact and entertain. My favorite book of mine is also my worst seller, but has touched just the right people deeply (it’s YA and deals with loss and cutting, and coming out of the dark). You will find that spark that speaks to you soon enough. As for feeding the hungry we’ve been involved with school pantry organization that stuffs backpacks of low income kids to have food for the weekends, and rice and beans ministry in uptown for the homeless every Tuesday night. Urban ministry stirs my heart and I need to find my way back into action—I’ve been on a bit of a break. Cheers to finding purpose <3

  • Gigi Saldivar Salinas

    No story to share here yet. Buttttt I Love your books. ❤️

  • Keisha Jamison

    I admire you. When the time is right GOD will let you know, but until then be patient live life to the fullest and be happy. In my day to day life my saying ” Go throughout the day with a smile el n if you don’t want to”. Keisha Jamison

  • I loved The Empty Jar. I had a personal connection to it, yes but I love books that make me think and feel such as TEJ. I would love to read more books like that.

  • Jenny Qu

    This is such an amazing,personal,genuine open letter. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us. You dont owe us anything, but yet you find it in your massive size heart to be kind enough and speak to us. You are so right. You wait, wait for the good LORD to send that inspiration. In the mean time you enjoy the gift he sent you.. Mr. Leighton, your family, your pooch and us!! Don’t worry, I personally will wait with and for you.
    long time ago, I was lost for a long time trying to gather my wits and place in life, I wont bore you with the details, the time came. and the time will come for you as well. GOD will send you that message either little by little or a big giant jack in the box type message “HERE IT IS”!!
    Love you girly!! <3. #cashlove!!! :)